chipped
I still remember the story my parents tell about me everytime I make a new friend. The wonderful story of the Baby Helmet.
I now realise I should have offered some context.
yes please i would love context thank you
Aight then. Buckle down cause I'm about to tell you the family famous Baby Helmet story.
When I was a kid, learnin to crawl and walk and shit, still a baby, my parents noticed something off about my head shape. So they took me to the doctor.
Turns out I was fucking up my skull formation plates by sleeping on one side of my head constantly which caused the plates to settle in a way they weren't supposed to be settling.
And the doctors baisically were like "On god bro we gonna fix this for you" and low and behold, a solution came.
A helmet. A thick, adjustable helmet that was meant to reshape my skull. I had to wear that bad boy for a while. It was white with purple butterflies on it cause they knew I liked purple and I liked butterflies.
However, there was a cost. And not a money kind. It was my parents sanity going and humor being cranked up.
Because instead of sitting around and being a baby and all that, I found a better use of the helmet.
I realised that it protected my head it gave me the best idea.
To hit my head on every fucking surface there was. It drove my family insane.
They would hear me bonking it on the tv stand, on the floor, on the table, my own high chair. I would even stand up and charge at visitors and my family's legs and just fucking ram into them and full baby speed. It was the most enjoyable pass time that made both me and my parents laugh their asses off.
However, one day at the doctors, they had finally deemed my head fixed and safe. And the helmet was gone (but we still got to keep it).
Now keep in mind that I had been going absolutely ham with this shield on my head for months. I had grown accustomed to it, as though it was a second part of me.
So after we come home from the doctors, we go into the living room and my parents let me and my twin play for a bit.
Soon came the need to bash my head against something.
So I got in position, ready to go. My parents saw it happening. They leapt up, ready to stop me. But they were not fast enough.
It all happened in slow motion. I slammed my head into the floor full force. Silence.
I lift my head. There are no tears or wails. Only confusion. I blinked. Still nothing. I was silent for the rest of the day, coming to terms with the fact that I lost my invincibility.
Never again did I bash my head or ram into people.
And that's one of the many family famous stories about me. And my personal favorite.
fantastic. absolutely wonderful. thank you for this story. reading this has brought me immeasurable joy as i imagine a tiny child ramming into shit with ruthless abandon. 10/10
sometimes people try to tell me that scientists are paragons of rationality and I have to break it to them that I have yet to work in a lab that didn’t have at least one weird secret shrine in it
new guy: why is all of the equipment in this room covered in toys?
me: dONn’t touch those
new guy:
me: they need the toys to function. if they don’t all have toys they get jealous.
new guy:
new guy:
me: when something breaks just take the wizard and wave it around for a while. they seem to like that.
Science is rational, scientists are human.
In Taiwan we have a special brand of snacks named 乖乖 (literally means “well behaved” but in a casual way like when one’s compliment a child or a pet of being good) that has green package.
It has become the lucky charm in the IT industry because engineers believe it will make machine acting good (like the name of the snack) and stay in green light (like the color of the snack’s package) when a 乖乖 is put on top of a server.
It is the only food allowed in a server room and the biggest semicondoctor company in Taiwan (which is also the biggest worldwide) even commissioned the snack factory to make a customized version with blessing on the package.
This is how a server room is blessed by 乖乖. You put at least one on top of each server. It’s important that the engineers change them before the expire date because legend says the snack looses it’s power after expire date.
You’ll hear engineers swearing up and down that their server room
crushed down the one time they forgot to change the snack. Or some
newbie ate the forbidden snack put on top of their server and caused a
disastrous crush down.
The 乖乖 religion later spread to all people who want their machine to act nice. In the lab we put 乖乖 on ultra-low freezer (you really don’t want it to drop dead along with your 2 years’ worth of sample/data), mass
spectrometer etc.
When Taiwan’s about to launch the first self made satellite in 2017, the develop team even put 乖乖 around the satellite model to prey for a successful launch (it did). This shit is real.
Broke: Humans are inherently good
Broke: Humans are inherently evil
Woke: Humans are, for good or evil, inherently ridiculous
New York is in the process of becoming the first state to ban the declawing of cats and thank goodness!
The New York Congress officially passed the bill on Tuesday and now all we need is for Gov. Andrew Cuomo to sign it into law.
Declawing cats is an incredibly inhumane procedure which involves amputating a cat’s toes up to the first knuckle. The surgeries are not only medically unnecessary but can come with severe side effects.
Finally.
Anonymous asked:
Emotionally I'm completely with you about Pride being Weird And Sexy instead of Plastic And Corporate, but is it wise in terms of actually improving lives to push for the LGBT+ community being different rather than just a normal part of society? Pride being normal sounds logically like a "declare victory" moment. But it's still sad.
pervocracy answered:
I’m kind of with you there–as cringey and often-hypocritical as Citibank Pride is, it beats the heck out of “no one except alcohol and condom companies will acknowledge your existence”–but there’s a big dark side to becoming normal. Which is that corporations now have power to decide exactly who’s allowed on the “gay but it’s okay” bus. That tends to not include LGBT+ people who are poor, who are mentally ill, who don’t have conventional-ish families, who aren’t simply LGBT but somewhere in the plus sign, and of course anyone who doesn’t love Citibank back.
Also, this kind of normalcy can come along with an implicit message that all the big problems are solved. Surely now that Citibank is on board and we see all these happy gay families walking Golden Retrievers down the street, problems like HIV and youth homelessness and suicide and hate crimes aren’t a big deal anymore! Why would we need to protect trans people’s housing and jobs, when even Wal-Mart is waving trans flags? It’s like an anti-awareness parade.
So it’s complicated. I don’t want to reject mainstream support, but I do want to look at it critically for who’s being supported and how much actual support vs. flag-waving is happening.
If you think “cishet invaders pretending to be LGBT” is a real problem that justifies discouraging people from reaching out to their local LGBTQ+ communities, we can’t be friends.
Every exclusionist who reblogged this owes me a dollar
holy shit what??
For the last few years, my local community has been under attack by an assorted group of bigots, including full-fledged neonazis. These bigots have been using a “divide and conquer” strategy that involves trying to drive wedges between various communities to reduce the amount of resistance they face when attempting to roll back our rights.
The majority of my local community’s organization against these bigots takes place in queer community spaces, both online and off. Discouraging ace people in my area from seeking out local community spaces means we have a smaller pool of potential activists to draw on and forces us to spread ourselves thinner as a result, which is literally exactly what the bigots attacking us are trying to achieve.
My mom accidentally said “gender non-compliant” instead of “gender non-conforming” and you know what? I like that. Let’s use that for something.
❄💙 Aria 💙❄
“gender non compliant” thats a MOOD
Gender Disobedience
Me: No one is hiring me
Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough
Me: oh yea, sorry about that. Let me apply “harder” this time. I’ll be sure to write my contact info extra “hard” this time. I’ll make sure to touch up my resume and make it hella “hard” this time around too.
preach
Adults: You just need to hit the pavement, knock on some doors, call the hiring manager!
Every job application ever: PLEASE NO UNSOLICITED VISITS OR PHONE CALLS.
Fact: Our reception pool forwards the names of people who call unsolicited on to HR, who puts the names on a DO NOT HIRE, CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS list.
This is what is the most terrifying about re-beginning the job search.
Fact: My brother was a store manager at AT&T for several years, and handled the hiring process. People that would call and call about the job wouldn’t get hired because, “They seemed to be the kind of people that would constantly need attention on the job, or wouldn’t make a good fit in customer service, because they don’t have the patience to wait for us to call them back.”
Meanwhile I’ve always been taught to do exactly those things because it “shows that you care and take initiative”
Here’s how I got my new job:
- Made a profile on Indeed.
- Crammed that fucker with every damn skill and job I have ever had. That time I ran roller-coasters for a month? On there. “Property Managing” my mother’s rental for six months because she was too lazy to drive over? On there. ALSO. If you are skilled in, say, Photoshop, don’t JUST put Photoshop as a skill. Also put Adobe Suite, Adobe Photoshop, etc. Put every possible term for your skill under the skills. Google skill lists and start slapping them in there if you have even a tiny bit of skill in them.
- Downloaded the Indeed app on my phone.
- Set up a saved search to show me all full-time jobs paying $15 or more per hour in my area, and set it to only show jobs with instant apply. I did not narrow it down by field or anything else. Just full-time, my area, $15/hr.
- Wrote up a three sentenceish generic cover letter that was basically “I am good at customer service, client management, and handling the variety of tasks this job will involve. I will be available on X date and would love to speak to you about this position at your company.” But slightly more professionally put.
- Just fucking clicked apply on everything. Anything that sounded like something I’d be willing and probably able to do. Like, I wasn’t applying to mechanic jobs or anything. But front-desk at a mechanic shop? Sure. Towing dispatcher? Sure. Print shop coordinator for some fancy real estate agency? Sure.
- The beauty of Indeed’s mobile/quick apply is that once you’ve set up your profile on there clicking apply is literally all you have to do for about 75% of the quick apply jobs. Some will have a couple additional questions like how long you’ve done certain things, or when you’re available to start. Some have random fun questions like your favorite superhero (usually startups). You click that button and off your resume goes.
- I spent about an hour every day doing this, submitted several hundred applications in the process, and heard back from…maybe 20. Got an interview at 4 or 5. Got hired at an insurance company that pays RIDICULOUSLY WELL. Took about a month.
- Do I want to sell in insurance? Not particularly. But this job will support me, my art, my ability to buy a house, and PROVIDE RESIDUAL INCOME ONCE I RETIRE. Which. If I play my cards right I could do in as little as ten years.
Your mileage may vary with this technique, but given the way job hunting is set up now carpet bombing an application site like Indeed is always worth a shot. I will note that when I came across a job I thought sounded extra interesting and more in line with the fields I wanted to be in I’d save the application instead of applying, then take the time that night to put together a better full application.
Good luck. Job hunting is terrible.
This is all solid advice. One more piece of advice is be on the lookout for any career groups. If you manage to join any they can be a huge help whether it be making connections or just helping to keep your head on straight.
I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.
But now the company holiday party is upon us.
And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.
I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.
I like that people have two reactions to this post.
Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”
Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU
Well, which one is it going to be?
And so it begins
having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now
Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.
Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”
I now see my mistake
Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.
My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating
Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂
By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now
This is an iconic moment for all fanfic writers out there
Like honestly it is so important that people stop associating radfem solely with TERFs because it blinds y'all to how insidious, pervasive, and dangerous radfem rhetoric is.
Are radfems transphobic? Yes. But that's not all they are.
Radfem rhetoric is behind a lot of the queerphobia, biphobia, aphobia, panphobia, kinkphobia, polyphobia and sex negativity in general on this site. Their rhetoric is woven intrinsically into kink criticism and exclusionist ideology. But because it doesn't have "trans people are evil" on the tin, y'all are swallowing those pills wholesale without giving it a second thought.
And then, because "radfem" has come to mean "TERF" on this site, when people point out to you that you're parroting radfem rhetoric, you're able to easily dismiss it by saying "How dare you call me transphobic!"
My friends. Transphobia is not the only dogwhistle radfems use. It is not the only pillar of their toxic belief system.
Familiarise yourself with all their beliefs. Think critically about all of them.
If you don't want to be called out on spreading radfem ideology, make sure your ideals aren't borrowing from the more subtle and less overtly disagreeable aspects of their belief system.